#3 Thought of the day - WORST DATE IN THE HISTORY OF DATES

Today I went on a date.... What a date that was...

We met during Carnival, 2 weeks ago. He seemed nice so we exchanged instagrams (oh these millennials) and kept speaking for the next two weeks.

After 2 weeks of speaking on a daily level, I Metro-ed my way to the mall to meet up with him. We watched a movie that was ay-ok, nothing special to be honest.

He was really tall and handsome, and he definitely knew that... too much!

Then, the real part of the date began... Ready?

The mall we went to, was nearby the river here in Lisbon so the area is full of benches, trees and definitely perfect for a simple walk. That we did *insert yoda's voice here*

Well, to reach the outdoor area, we were forced to go though the entire mall. From the moment we left the movies, I noticed the guy was checking himself out on the reflection of every single front display of all stores. And I mean, every single one. And he occasionally stopped to fix his hair.

After the 4th stop, I called him out on it. And his answer was "I can't help myself".

He then stopped, reached his hand in his pocket and took out a small mirror.
"My hair looks like shit today!". I told him it looked fine but my attempt to reach the fresh air outside and run away from any type of reflection, failed. He then reached into his other pocket and took out a travel hair brush. Yes, a travel hair brush.

I might enhance that I'm not very good at controlling my facial expressions and obviously seeing that didn't help. My mouth dropped and all that came out my mouth seemed to be an audiobook of my thoughts,
"No way...", "are you serious?". To my surprise, the audiobook for my thoughts came across in a totally different way to him. His response was always "You're too cute", "you're too funny"... *insert crickets here*

I kept saying that his hair was fine. The brush did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because of this nothing-ness, during the entire date, he repeated this mirror and brush ritual 3 times..... 3 fucking times!

We were finally outside - Can we get an AMEN? - and I became paranoid about any reflection that came our way. Reflections were definitely his version of Medusa.

We did talk though. A little about everything, previous relationships, future goals, movies, food... 0 in common and I was already praying for an OUT.

We reached this little garden and I suggested we sat for a little while on the grass.

"NO WAY!"....
"Why not?"
"I'm not getting my clothes dirty! No way"
... again
"You're kidding right?". I took a jacket with me so I spread it on the grass so that the little lord could sit without getting his jeans dirty with grass.......... what a fucking gentleman gentlewoman I am, I know.

Sitting on the grass/jacket, we talked for a while until the cutest puppy came up to us and started licking my hands. ADORABLE I KNOW.

"Don't even think you're touching me after that!"
"Excuse you?"
"Yeah that was disgusting! You don't even know if it was sick... You know there are many diseases that can be passed from dogs to humans"............................................................................ I know whoever-is-reading this, I know.
I did ask him if he was aware I am studying Veterinary medicine. He was fully aware.

I felt like my eyes were in the back of my head from rolling my eyes so much.

Even though I kept saying things like "that's ridiculous", "is this actually happening right now?", his response didn't change, "you're too funny!" while laughing and winking at me.

Did I also mention that at one point, he did grab my hand (an attempt to be romantic? ha ha think again), "You're hands are a little dry, you should use hand cream"... Boys, that's how you talk to girls...

With the help of the Old gods and New (haha if you got this joke), he went to get food and a friend messaged me, I told him the date was going horribly wrong, and he then asked if I wanted him to call me so I had an excuse to leave. So I did. How could I refuse such a generous offer? It would be rude not to.

I told the tool I had an emergency and had to leave.

His response, "I'm heading to the casino to get back the money I spent today"... Can we get an eye roll!?

I left and had the biggest laugh.

I didn't even know people like these existed other than in movies. Was I in a movie and no one bothered to tell me? *gasp*

Have you ever had a terrible date before?

Xoxo <3