Quarantine... fucking anxiety #4

Hey guys.

Today, I woke up in a good mood (as good as you can get).

Woke up, had breakfast, did a little work-out (little = I don't think I had sweat that much in years and after that, spent 30 minutes lying on the floor, unable to move a single muscle and breathing so heavily I was afraid my neighbors would knock on my door asking if everything was ok. It was great.), had a quick shower... yes, quick because I had not fully recovered and needed to lie down FAST. Then, lunch, a little german online class and chilled.

Everything was fine.

But then the news of a possible emergency state on Wednesday... why did my mood change?

Well, I'm alone in Lisbon because I can't reach my parents (in the Algarve) because I could be infected and since they are in the risk group (due to their age + other diseases), well, I'm stuck here.

I mean, I could go and stay with my sisters' family but would I feel comfortable there? With her family? It's complicated...

Anxiety hit.

My mind started going all over the place. Oh god. This will last for a long time. Going to be here for several months. Alone. For months. Did I mention that I could stay alone for a few months. Oh. My birthday is on the 24th of April... Will I spend my birthday in full isolation? Probably? Definitely.

You got the gist right? Well that's where my mind went in a matter of 1.5 seconds. Fucking anxiety.

My boyfriend tried to calm me down but in times like these, I just need to take a moment, alone. Yes there are good and bad 'alones'. My mind works in funny ways.

Started thinking about things clearly. What do I want? What do I really want? Everyone to be healthy and safe. And if that means I have to be alone for a few months. Then so be it.

Sometimes I forget to just step back and look at the entire picture. See what the real priorities are. This will change your mood and push anxiety out the window, probably even faster than it took for the anxiety to get in.

Full on rant here I know.

Stay safe!
Beijinhos Jessy